Happy 8th Anniversary

"Therefore, God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity."
-Romans 1:26-27

I understand comedian Tracy Morgan is taking a lot of heat for offending the gay and lesbian community with a stand-up routine, so perhaps this post can add to that conversation. I haven't gotten the details of what he said exactly, but it seems like it was more ugly and violent than funny. Although I believe we shouldn't condone homosexual acts, we definitely shouldn't promote violence against any group of people. That's as bad as those misguided pro-life supporters than kill abortion clinic doctors. It's another example of hate the sin, but love the sinner. Being gay, something you can't choose, isn't any more sinful than lust in heterosexuals. I'm celebrating my 8th wedding anniversary with Nancy today, but I suppose it's okay to acknowledge that I still notice good-looking women. I went to mass at Fr. Dan's parish this morning and he acknowledged as much in one of his talks (another couple was celebrating their 25th anniversary), but emphasizes that married people choose to remain faithful to their spouse just like he chooses to remain faithful to his spouse, God, by remaining celibate, just as all single people are encouraged to remain celibate unless they later choose to marry, no matter what their sexual orientation may be.

Female Wisdom

Wisdom cries aloud in the street, in the open squares she raises her voice; down the crowded ways she calls out, at the city gate she utters her words: "How long, you simple ones, will you love inanity, how long will you turn away at my reproof?"
-Proverbs 1:1-7, 20-33

With all of the masculine references in the Bible, I am surprised at the fact that Wisdom is feminine. Men and women often have different roles to play here on earth. However, a lot of Jesus's characteristics were feminine for those times and his being male emphasized those characteristics of gentleness, for example, which would be dismissed as a typical fault in a woman. Perhaps husbands still don't fully appreciate their wife's wisdom yet or perhaps they tune out too soon when the first thing out of her mouth sounds like nagging as it does in the passage above. Either way, there's a lot to think about ;)

100% in marriage

"Let all parties think humbly of others as superior to themselves, each of you looking to others' interests rather than his own." -from Phillipians 2:2b-4

With Engaged Encounter still on my mind from yesterday, another point that one of those weekends brings up to a couple getting married is that each individual has the responsibility to give 100%. Don't expect to give just 50% and expect your spouse to give 50% to make your marriage work. Don't give less than 100% when you feel your partner is giving less than 100%. Marriage is not a job where you are only expected to give (work) based upon how much you get (pay). A marriage should be a covenant like God's relationship with us. He's given and continues to give us 100%, even when we don't live up to our end of the bargain. As Christians that want to include God in our marriage, it is our job to show our spouse God's love for them, which means we promise to love them no matter how much we get in return.

With that said, I think we all find we get a lot in return too. I know I do at least.

Rules for arguing

One of today's reading stood out to me because it was one of the rules of arguing that my wife and share on Engaged Encounter weekends. I had known that it was sound advice and certainly not counter to biblical teachings. However, I didn't know that it was in there explicitly in Ephesians 4:26-27, "If you are angry, let it be without sin. The sun must not go down on your wrath; do not give the devil a chance to work on you." With anger being on of the seven deadly sins, and patience being the contrary virtue to counter it, it makes sense that one of the rules for arguing is to not go to bed angry. As we explain with examples from our life, this means you have to settle the argument OR call a truce and patiently resume negotiations at another time, but either way you shouldn't go to bed angry.

This is true for all relationships. There's no point in being angry with anyone, whether you are sleeping with them or not, because of the old saying that if you are angry at someone, you're only hurting yourself. I would think this would be true of any vice you choose over the virtues available to you if they give the devil occasion to work on you.

Consolation

From 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, "Praised be God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all consolation! He comforts us in all our afflictions and thus enables us to comfort those who are in trouble, with the same consolation we have received from him."

As is often the case, I was just writing to my friend the other day about how impressed I was with her faith and how God seems to have given her so many consolations, whereas I sometimes don't feel that I have been given those same consolations from God as others. When my faith hit bottom near the time of my marriage, whether coincidence or not, it was because I was looking for consolation directly from God and never considered the fact that he was sending his consolation to me through others, if I had only been more open to them. I am now. Those who can pass on that consolation to others will indeed be blessed, and those that keep the faith despite receiving any "direct" consolation will eventually recieve their reward too.

Sin is increasing

I realize that the good old days weren't entirely good, though it certainly seems like our culture is worse now than it used to be in some ways in terms of fidelity, even though there was infidelity in the past. But perhaps it is better in other ways in terms of racism, even though racism still exists too. If you feel like sin has increased in the world, no matter how you may define that, you can take solace from from Paul who tells the Romans, "Sin has increased but grace has far surpassed it" (5:20). God's grace is always capable of overcoming evil for those open to God's grace and I suspect that anyone who is coming back to this simple blog periodically is the kind of person that is open to God's grace and will be instrumental in overcoming evil in their world.

Images of God

I personally like the image of our relationship with God as a spouse. Today Isaiah 61:10-62:5 includes: As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you." However, I have known people abused by their fathers or other men, who have had trouble with the masculine image of God the Father because they never had a good understanding of how fathers are supposed to treat their children. Likewise, not every one marries young, not every bride is a virgin, so this image may be difficult for some to appreciate. Fortunately, God's love is so great and all encompassing that those searching for Him will find in through the many images of Him provided in scripture (and perhaps come to a better understanding of how those other figures are expected to act).

Peace.