Did I err?

My wife and I have been giving Engaged Encounter weekends for about nine years -- we'll have been married 10 years on June 14. Part of the weekend involves what is called a Rap Session and Prayer Service. The Saturday night Rap Session is a chance for the engaged couples preparing for marriage to take a break from listening to us present a talk and share their answers to questions placed in the question box up to that point in the weekend. When there isn't a priest or deacon available, we provide a disclaimer that we may not be able to answer all questions concerning church law and to ask your priest after the weekend where there is any doubt. Nevertheless, one couple shared how they are not getting married in the church because they want to get married outside and this upset another couple that pulled us aside later, who thought it was scandalous that nothing was said by the team leaders. In looking back at the situation, we gave a short disclaimer at the beginning, but the question and answers took up a lot more time and the couple walked away with our silence condoning living together and not getting married in the church rather than our disclaimer. How could I make the disclaimer more clear without repeating it after someone says something contrary to the church, especially when they acknowledge that the church is against what they are doing? There are often so many benefits to the rap session that I would hate to eliminate it. Perhaps I will just repeat the disclaimer at the end in case the significance of the disclaimer didn't seem important before the talk to certain couples, but does afterwards depending on what is said.

The second concern of this couple was our disrespect for the altar. We held the prayer service in a chapel where the Eucharist was present. The young man referred the altar as the body and blood of Christ, so he may have been referring to the tabernacle and not the altar, or not just the altar. In any case, I tried to run back through my actions that night through my head to see what I may have done. I genuflected before entering, but forgot to leaving because I was talking with a couple - that's not an excuse, just an explanation. During the prayer service, we have the couples approach the altar and light their candle from the main candle. Then the team leaders say some prayers before the group, ask the couples to find a private spot within the chapel, the team leaders say a prayer privately at the altar before separating to pray with the couples. In moving around to pray with the couples, we did not genuflect each time we crossed the center aisle. There is certainly more we could have done, but to describe my actions as "scandalous" seemed severe. In hindsight, I should have asked him what he was talking about specifically.

So in conclusion, little is going to change. A disclaimer will be added at the end of the rap session. I will bow or genuflect more during the prayer service, but I feel like it still wouldn't satisfy this couple's concerns. I wish I could have a better understanding of their concerns and/or a better knowledge of alternatives I could use to meet the same ultimate goal of preparing these couples for marriage the best we can given the time that we have.