2010

If I don't get a chance next weekend...Merry Christmas, everyone!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Advent

I'm excited for the Christmas season, even though most people have already been celebrating their Christmas season. Almost all of the Christmas parties are before Christmas. They're really Advent parties. There's even time after the kids return to school to have actual Christmas parties (if they don't already call them holiday parties). Not that a post like this is going to change any of this, but perhaps it will make an internal change in a reader or two, if only to encourage them that they aren't the only ones who feel that way.

Facebook

A while back, I took an indefinite hiatus from Farmville because I felt it was taking time away from family and work. Now I am starting to feel the same way about Facebook. I am looking for more and more quiet time for reflection and things like Facebook become a distraction (with Facebook being the greatest time consumer for me). So I am going to take an indefinite hiatus from Facebook as well. The last time I logged in was last week, and I had been logging in once a week. From my blog, I can still post to Facebook without getting sucked into surfing updates or chats. Therefore, this week I guess I resume my blog technically. I had missed it in some ways, although not everyday. Perhaps, I'll post once a week from now on, especially since I know some people have been checking in periodically looking for new posts. No matter what, I'll keep praying for you and your needs (whether I know you or your needs) and I trust many of you will keep me and my personal intentions in your prayers because I feel I am getting into challenges at work where I will need more grace than I currently have.

Hiatus

It turned out to be impossible to maintain any posts last weekend because of other priorities, so I think now is a good time to take a more formal hiatus. Those who read this are those that already know me and this blog seems to shed little more than I would in conversation or action, so until there is something that cannot be said otherwise, I wish you peace until I write again.

Perspective

One teacher lost her mother suddenly this week. Another lost her baby, 3-months old in the womb. Work goes on, but it forces us to stop and put things in perspective when we have become accustomed to constantly progressing. Real progress is measured differently than how the world typically sees it. It's not how much you do, but with how much love you do it.

Engaged Encounter

I went to an Engaged Encounter meeting last night and it made me appreciate what a great community Pittsburgh has. Engaged Encounter is an international organization that helps couples preparing for marriage. Since a weekend has all the same basic components no matter where you attend, there has to be uniform guidelines. The problem I see is that the national arm seems to force unnecessary change, which creates an undue burden on those volunteering relative to any benefit the couples receive.

Each volunteer couple writes about seven 20 minutes talks, but once those talks are completed, they can be used on every weekend the volunteer couples attend. However, there's a sense of relief when all that writing is over that makes one not want to start over. Secondly, there's a sense that those 140 minutes that you spent sharing with couples had not been helping them if all of the talks need fixed. Without any guarantee that these whims won't change with each new administrative team, a lot of volunteers may be lost, which would be ashame.

Fortunately, Pittsburgh is rightfully confident in the value their weekends provide and have such strong support for each other, like a family, that we don't seem to be showing the signs of stress that other local communities are experiencing. We speculate some of the catch phrases like "God doesn't make junk" may be updated, but the content of the talks will remain basically the same. The spirit of marriage hasn't changed in the last seven years since we were married because we went through this program and feel it was/is successful for us and would be for any couple. We pray those at the national level would have recognized those benefits and not feel a need to change an already successful program without justifying the cause.

Hay Day

I don't know how common Hay Day is in other parts of the country, and it's even a bit of a misnomer around here since there's no hay involved. It's just a day to go out to a country setting where there's lot of games and food for families to enjoy. I wish there was a way to measure the fun we have because I have to give up my usual time to write to go have fun. But I can write any time, like 4 o'clock in the morning, and Hay Day comes but once a year, so I know I'm making the right decision when I see the smiles on my family's faces.

The Long Haul

I understand a general rule of thumb is that people act according to their own self-interest, so if you want to predict what a person will do in a given situation, try to put yourself in that situation. The problem is that people define self-interest differently in the sense that some think short-term and some think long-term. So it is better to have nice things today than to see it invested today, but I feel it's better to watch investments grow than to see those nice things run down.

The same may go for spiritual matters. You may make a decision that seems to pay off in the moment like taking revenge on someone who slighted you in the past when the opportunity presents itself, but that may make your journey harder down the road. Let God take care of the score and do what will bring you and He closer and closer with each step you take on your journey.

Patience

I am actively looking for a way to get back to daily mass. Some days it seems like an opportunity isn't presenting itself soon enough and I consider creating my own opportunity. As patient as I am, I am glad I have a wife that is even more patient in waiting for the right time to back to daily mass (after I have done whatever I am supposed to do in my present job) and get out of debt to ourselves...we had some savings goals, which we were meeting, but things came up and we had to use a lot of it. Fortunately, it was enough to buy us time and adjust our budget, so we can start over where we are and move forward.

Action

I made the decision yesterday that I wanted to return to the fold. Part of me still wants to remain true to the day's readings from the Divine Office, but do so less explicitly. I have access to a blog at school for school related purposes and I feel I have been preaching the Gospel with my actions, so now I will try to blog in that same spirit, promoting the Gospel in my writings without calling it the Gospel. Those familiar with the Gospel will likely see the connections. Those young in their faith can rest assured that nothing will be contrary to the Gospel.

My theme for the time being will focus on humility: removing the plank from one's own eye before trying to remove the speck from another's. This may be particularly appropriate as our country enters the height of the campaign season. The politicians with the most credibility are those transparent with their own work than those constantly calling on others to disclose this and that.

To follow my posts on workdays, go to http://websites.pdesas.org/stevensb

Blocked

Posts may become more sporadic from now on. We got a new Internet filter at work, which took a few weeks to really filter. I hadn't tried to log on to Google with the old system, but the new system was even letting Facebook and Hotmail through, although I didn't go to those sites even when I was not on the clock. In any case, now that I can only blog from home, I don't get on the computer every night and when I do, there may other items more important than publicly reflecting on the day's readings, but I will certainly continue doing the readings and can take solace in the fact that so many others are out there doing the same or similar offerings of praise, thanksgiving, and petitions through Jesus Our Lord.

Used Car Dealer

Driving home, stopped at a light, I noticed a saying written in soap on the window of a used car dealer that said, "God created you for him not you." The saying in itself is a good reminder I suppose, but the context seemed even more striking. Very few businesses are so outwardly Christian, first of all. The fact that it is a used car dealer is probably a coincidence, of course, but I like how those cars weren't good enough for somebody, yet the dealer had faith that someone else would see the good in them. It's not as significant as the stone that the builders rejected becoming the corner stone, but it could be a simple reminder of that worked into the course of a typically busy weekday.

More NFP

According to womentowomen.com, if you had more couples over a longer period of time than just us over 7 years, NFP would not be as effective as surgery, which is greater than 99%, but the risks and side-effects of surgery would be greater. Likewise, although condoms don't present any risks or side-effects, they are only 98% effective like NFP (and NFP is cheaper). I didn't mean to insinuate that NFP would be 100% effective for everyone, just for us. I did mean to insinuate that it's the safest because it is.

Natural Family Planning

So although there are a number of good quotes to use from the readings this past weekend, a quote from another time came up. I don’t have the exact quote or location, but to paraphrase it goes something like those that the world considers wise, prove themselves to be fools, while those that the world considers foolish prove themselves to be wiser. We didn’t actually say this to my wife’s doctor, but it helped us bite our tongues while getting lectured about Natural Family Planning as if we are doing it for purely spiritual reasons and that the science behind it isn’t more effective than what he proposes. My wife and I don’t understand everything that he learned in medical school, but we do understand the science of Natural Family Planning and the alternatives and how the success rate compares to the side effects for each option. What’s frustrating is that some doctors, like this one, do not know the science behind Natural Family Planning and still feel confident enough to draw a conclusion about it. Current misconceptions are based on the outdated rhythm method based on statistics, which some churches promoted for moral reasons, but which has since been replaced by Natural Family Planning based on science and without negative side effects associated with some alternatives and with better success rate than the remaining alternatives whether it comes to having children or avoiding pregnancies. My wife and I wanted to have kids during the summer so I would be around to help late in the pregnancy and immediately after. We’ve had our 3 kids each summer we tried on July 11, July 16, and August 8 respectively (and avoided pregnancies during the school years and other summers every year since we’ve been married). So although we don’t plan on another anytime soon, we do plan on using the same method to avoid pregnancy that we have for the last 7 plus years with 100% success and don’t feel a need to resort to anything the doctor proposed that comes with possible side effects or a success rate less than 100%.

Labor Day Weekend

Most of us certainly have something to look forward to this three-day weekend. I have a fantasy football draft tonight, a wedding for my wife's cousin tomorrow, and a baptism for my newborn, Emily, on Sunday, (and Monday to rest). However, today's readings remind us there's even something better to look forward to:

Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much as dawned on man what God has prepared for those who love him." -1 Corinthians 2:6-10a

Community

"See that no one among you has a faithless heart." -Hebrews 3:12

Among the stereotypes of Catholics and Protestants I don't like is how much emphasis is placed on a personal relationship with God among Protestants and not enough emphasis is placed on being part of the body of Christ and the responsibility of serving the community of faith. The stereptype for Catholics taking it to the other extreme of worshipping together and not as much on the individual. For Americans, in a culture that emphasizes the individual, it makes being Catholic that much harder and becoming Protestant that much more attractive. True believers among all Christians will find that balance and since I consider most of my readers to be true believers and American. Today's quote reminds of of our responsibility to others.

Apathy or Faith

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Trial or distress, or persecution,r hunger, or nakedness, or danger, or the sword? Yet in all of this we are more than conquerors because of him who has loved us. for I am certain that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor pwers, neighter height nor depth nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God that comes to us in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
-Romans 8:35-39

I have been accused of being apathetic at times, not caring as much as I should about something in someone's opinion. However, I feel I have the right amount of concern about the things that are important based on my priorities and try to be respectful of others priorities.

Calm

Calm our anger and forget your rage; do not fret, it only leds to evil.
-Psalm 37

After a frustrating Monday, this is good advice to start a Tuesday off with. It's also the first day students are back in my school district!

Anger

"Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for a man's anger does not fulfill God's justice. If a man who does not control his tongue imagines that he is devout, he is self-decieved; his worship is pointless."
-James 1:19b-20, 26

This reminder that I come across every Monday helps me get through those stereotypical Mondays. Today was my first Monday of work and my daugher's first day of kindergarten. She had a great time because the homework was all for me and my wife and took us until after 10 PM to get through everything that was "due" tomorrow. As a teacher, I know most parents don't meet those school imposed deadlines, but we didn't want to become one of those parents on day 1.

Female Wisdom

Wisdom cries aloud in the street, in the open squares she raises her voice; down the crowded ways she calls out, at the city gate she utters her words: "How long, you simple ones, will you love inanity, how long will you turn away at my reproof?"
-Proverbs 1:1-7, 20-33

With all of the masculine references in the Bible, I am surprised at the fact that Wisdom is feminine. Men and women often have different roles to play here on earth. However, a lot of Jesus's characteristics were feminine for those times and his being male emphasized those characteristics of gentleness, for example, which would be dismissed as a typical fault in a woman. Perhaps husbands still don't fully appreciate their wife's wisdom yet or perhaps they tune out too soon when the first thing out of her mouth sounds like nagging as it does in the passage above. Either way, there's a lot to think about ;)

Glenn Beck

This is my commandment: that you should love one another. -John 15:12

This quote stands out in my mind today because a good friend acknowledged on FaceBook that we are called to love one another, but asked how could you love this man (in reference to Glenn Beck). I don't know as much about him as others that may that follow him, but from what little I know he seems like he's far from the epitome of Satan that political opponents make him out to be. He's a Christian, so even if his Christian beliefs as a Mormon differ from yours as a Catholics or Protestant, there are many more similarities than differences.

From what the media has reported, he and those at the rally have spoke in nothing but peaceful terms, whereas critics leading up to the rally and some at the counter rally felt that they could use the KKK and his tea party interchangably. I feel like I'd be grasping at straws to try and respond to that because I don't understand logically where all this anger is coming from. Supporters of MLK that share his race should be proud of his contributions to society to be sure, but those that share his faith should be even more proud because I believe he was a Christian first and placed everything else, even his race, somewhere below that.

Gossip

Never let evil talk pass your lips. Get rid of all bitterness, anger, harsh words, slander, and malice of every kind. -from Ephesians 4:29-32

If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say anythin' at all. -from the movie Bambi

Unfortunately, this is often disregarded because too many people look to short-term rewards and not the bigger picture that God encourages us to see. Politicians have research that more votes are more determined by negative ads than positive ones. That's because studies have shown we are often motivated by emotion than logic. Anger is a stronger emotion than logic.

In the moment, it's sometimes difficult to think clearly, especially if we are relying on ourselves. But if we look to God for strength, we will have the grace to say what needs to be said (if anything) and more importantly: do what needs to be done, whether it is voting with a clear conscience or stopping the verbal assualt in school when the momentum seems turned against a defenseless person (whether justified or not).

Military Families

"If God is on our side who can be against us?" states Paul in his letter to the Romans (8:31). The problem with this quote isn't the quote, of course, but the often twisted interpretation of it. Many seem to de-emphasize the "if" and assume that God must be on their side. Pre-emptive strikes would generally fall into that category. If Andy punched Brian because he heard that Brian was going to punch him, Andy is the one who did something wrong, no matter what a jerk Brian may be.

Defense, on the other hand, is often justified. WWII was certainly justified on the Allies part in Germany. The killing that Germany was guilty of warranted a response to make them stop killing more. Diplomacy failed. It was a winable battle. And the Allies probably didn't kill as many Axis as the Axis would have if left unimpeded. In Japan, however, dropping the atomic bomb to end the war sooner and save more lives overall on both sides would have been justified if those were not lives of non-combatants.

I just met another wife of a military husband today and there are a number of military families among my extended family and friends. These Christian soldiers are often put in a tough spot because of how questionable the justification of the war is that they find themselves in. It doesn't seem like Al-queda and the Taliban would have killed as many people as have died on both sides with Americans and others being over there. Of course, those that believe that a presence there has prevented more 9-11 type attacks could argue otherwise if they felt there were no other means for preventing those attacks. That's as debatable as what the definition of winning means. At least diplomacy was tried, and now that anger has subsided from the masses, efforts are focused on attaining peace and not revenge. It's too bad it couldn't have started that way (or not started at all).

Actions

I love the Word of God, but sometimes actions speak louder than words and today those actions served as my prayer because I struggled to make time to really read any prayers between getting the baby and the five year ready while mom was struggling to bring the three year old home from the doctor because mom was having an episode that required us to head to the ER as soon as they got home and have the kids miss lunch (but got to watch more than the usual amount of TV in the waiting room) to eventually come home when mom was better and take the 5 year old shopping while the younger two slept at home until dinner and then return everything that was due at the library only to have the two older girls get into a fight and cry in the children's section, so we returned what we were going to take out back to the shelves, only to be informed that the DVD we returned wasn't in the case (it was still in the player at home) and would have to be renewed and returned later, which leads up to now trying to get all three of them into their bedtime routines as close as possible despite all the deviations from the rest of today's routines. Amen.

Don't Work...Don't Eat

"Anyone who would not work should not eat. We hear that some of you are unruly, not keeping busy but acting like busy-bodies. We enjoin all such, and we urge them strongly in the Lord Jesus Christ, to earn the food they eat by working quietly. You must never grow weary of doing what is right." -2 Thessalonians 3:10b-13

Not that I know many people on welfare, and not that all of them are abusing the system, but I think the system could better serve them if it operated like a temp agency. Some of the people on welfare want to work and are embarrassed to accept handouts. Giving them work (or training) to get their check would give the people I enjoy helping a stronger sense of self-worth. It would also give those abusing the system the tough love that is needed because I want to help them too.

Lost Friends

Happy indeed is the man
who follows not the counsel of the wicked;
nor lingers in the way of sinners
nor sits in the company of scorners,
but whose delight is the law of the Lord
and who ponders his law day and night.
-from Psalm 1

I was just reading a book by Napoleon Hill entitled "Think and Grow Rich" (available on Google Books that anyone who likes reading this should read) that has more to do with heavenly riches than what a first glance suggests. In that he discusses how those that are exposed to crime, for example, become more tolerant of crime at first and eventually become criminals themselves. This is true of whatever you expose yourself to, so be sure to surround yourself with good people. This could be tough when you reunite with old friends whose faith journey seems to have taken a different than yours - farther from God rather than closer. Yesterday, I was fortunate to attend a Catholic Underground Event where a number of people my age came together to praise God. It was great.

OMG

From Revelation 15:3-4, this seemingly rhetorical question is asked, "Who would dare refuse you honor, or the glory of your name, O Lord?" Then it goes on to praise God for a number of good reasons. Admittedly, I am convinced, so I can understand why someone may ask a rhetorical question like this. On the other hand, I know so many people that reject God and other good-intentioned people that still slip up using the Lord's name in vain that the question is far from rhetorical today. Those that reject God don't care. Those that slip up consider it a little thing. Maybe it is if you feel sorry for it afterwards. Maybe it isn't if it's the start of nominalizing other rules that the rest of society doesn't follow. When I see OMG, for example, my first impression is of the kid saying, "Oh My God," because when I am around that kid, that's what they say. But I hope they mean, "Oh My Goodness," since writing takes more time than speaking and they can catch themselves beforehand. Hopefully, enough of those people that I surround myself with will begin to use, "Oh My Goodness," more frequently so that my instincts will begin to give them the benefit of the doubt in the future as well when I see "OMG".

100% in marriage

"Let all parties think humbly of others as superior to themselves, each of you looking to others' interests rather than his own." -from Phillipians 2:2b-4

With Engaged Encounter still on my mind from yesterday, another point that one of those weekends brings up to a couple getting married is that each individual has the responsibility to give 100%. Don't expect to give just 50% and expect your spouse to give 50% to make your marriage work. Don't give less than 100% when you feel your partner is giving less than 100%. Marriage is not a job where you are only expected to give (work) based upon how much you get (pay). A marriage should be a covenant like God's relationship with us. He's given and continues to give us 100%, even when we don't live up to our end of the bargain. As Christians that want to include God in our marriage, it is our job to show our spouse God's love for them, which means we promise to love them no matter how much we get in return.

With that said, I think we all find we get a lot in return too. I know I do at least.

Rules for arguing

One of today's reading stood out to me because it was one of the rules of arguing that my wife and share on Engaged Encounter weekends. I had known that it was sound advice and certainly not counter to biblical teachings. However, I didn't know that it was in there explicitly in Ephesians 4:26-27, "If you are angry, let it be without sin. The sun must not go down on your wrath; do not give the devil a chance to work on you." With anger being on of the seven deadly sins, and patience being the contrary virtue to counter it, it makes sense that one of the rules for arguing is to not go to bed angry. As we explain with examples from our life, this means you have to settle the argument OR call a truce and patiently resume negotiations at another time, but either way you shouldn't go to bed angry.

This is true for all relationships. There's no point in being angry with anyone, whether you are sleeping with them or not, because of the old saying that if you are angry at someone, you're only hurting yourself. I would think this would be true of any vice you choose over the virtues available to you if they give the devil occasion to work on you.

Fathers

As a father has compassion on his sons, the Lord has pity on those who fear him;
for he knows of what we are made, he remembers that we are dust. -Psalm 103

Since a father was used as the example in this passage, I had to select it for today's quote. It reminds fathers of the responsibility we have to our children because their image of God the father is based on their image of us. Therefore, even though I think it comes naturally to most fathers, most of the time, remember that our kids are kids and not small adults. They don't reason the same way we do, so although we still correct them as needed, it makes it easier to forgive them in our hearts and to hand out the punishment with compassion, especially if we remember the things we did as children and how we turned out (probably thanks to correction from our parents).

Loving God

In these brief reflections, fair space is not always given to every thought, which may unintentionally overemphasize another. For example, faith produces good works and I made a point to include prayer as a work because some people don't see that as doing something. In another case, I mentioned how sins of commission (bad things you do that you shouldn't) and sins of ommission (good things you could've done that you didn't) are both sins. With both of these in mind, I think that not sinning could be considered the primary good work, especially with today's quote of "Loving God means keeping his commandments" from 1 John 5:3.

I love my wife and children, so I often want to do things for them (good works). However, there should be something said for the things I don't do too (keeping the commandments). Good works in our relationship with God and others is an expression of our love, but it should be understood that they go along with keeping the commandments first and not using good works to make up for not keeping the commandments. I didn't feel that proper emphasis was placed on not sinning first and then adding good works on top of that in my previous discussion based on comments people have shared with me, so I appreciate the feedback whether here, on Facebook, or privately. God bless all of you.

Time

"There is no time for God. A thousand years, a single day: it is all one."

From 2 Peter 3:8, we get perhaps a better explanation of time in terms of eternity than my mathematical attempt earlier. I was thinking of trying to quote this passage in that post, but I didn't know where to look. I just know it's in the Bible somewhere, which is usually good enough for my purposes, but it doesn't always meet everyone else's needs, so I didn't bother that time. In this case, it seems to suggest that it's just another mystery that we have trouble understanding - given our human limitations - and move on.

Part 2

Message to me:
I am sad to hear though, that you don't feel you have a closeness with Jesus. I believe that somehow, this is often lacking in the Catholic Church. I don't mean to stereotype, I know there are definitely Catholics who have a close personal relationship with Jesus, it's just that I've never met one. I think it's so easy to get wrapped up in the "religion" i.e. the churches rules and regulations and they're expectations of you (your works). When I truly became a Christian a started learning about what a relationship with Jesus was all about, I had never been taught that in the Catholic Church and felt that this is what they were missing out on. I love Jesus with all my heart and live each day for Him. I try to read about, talk about, and live like Him. When you ask Jesus to come into your heart and give you a heart for Him, I believe he will do that and the church of believers will help. It was so important for me to find a great charismatic church with people who just loved Jesus and State College had a few to choose from, actually! I will be praying that you find a closer, more intimate relationship with Jesus.

My response:
Thanks. I will always take all the prayers I can get. I am fortunate to have met a number of Catholics that have a close, personal relationship with Jesus. Many Franciscans express this kind of joy like Francis did, but my relationship is different. Mine is like one that is illustrated often in the Bible, especially the Psalms, where one feels like God isn't there, but knows that He is. Jesus began one of these Psalms while he was hanging on the cross. This just increases one's desire and enlarges one's capacity to accept God more fully when He will provide that joy of consolation. Mother Teresa's relationship with God was like this for most of the second half of her life. It's like being away from my wife and kids on a retreat. I know am loved across the distance that separates us, and it makes me all the more eager to be with them when I can, which will help me be a more attentive and better husband and father to all of them (and that number keeps increasing). So even though I may not have the joy of feeling His presence, I have the peace of knowing Him.

Salvation

Message to me (part 1/2):
Although mortal sins are much worse than venial sins, they still can not keep you away from Jesus once you've truly accepted him as our Lord and Savior. Even if you, as a true Christian, killed someone and then died right after and never asked forgiveness, no where in the bible does Jesus say that you then no longer come to Him for judgement when you die. You will surely be judged for it by Christ during that judgment day but I still don't believe you have to go to purgatory and rely on the prayers of humans to get you to Jesus. Once you are saved, you are saved, period.

My response:
I think we are saying the same thing in different ways again. I agree that if you accept Christ you will be saved, even though I believe commiting a mortal sin condemns yourself because you are rejecting Christ. The only way those two wouldn't reconcile with themselves was if there was a Christian who wanted to sin. That's like God creating something that he couldn't lift; God can create anything, but he can also lift anything, so how could he create something he couldn't lift? The two parts of those statements contradict each other. Christians don't want to sin, but do so because of our human weakness. For example, Peter lied, which was serious and which he knew was wrong, but did so without thinking out of fear, so that would be considered venial and not mortal. On the other hand, Paul planned on killing Stephen, which is serious and which he did so freely, but he didn't understand that it was wrong at the time, so that too would have been considered venial and not mortal.

No matter what kind of sin it is, we all go to Christ for judgement. One of my favorite links is: http://www.olrl.org/snt_docs/fewness.shtml , which among other things retells some of the stories of those who saw Heaven and that thousands of people were before the tribunal of God and from there they were either saved and sent to Heaven or Purgatory, or they damned themselves to Hell.

This brings Purgatory up again, which I would consider being saved because you are not condemned to Hell, you are being prepared for Heaven. Of course, if you don't believe in Purgatory, you would believe that if you aren't damned to Hell, then you go straight to Heaven. I don't have any better words to explain my reasoning, but mathematically, both would be true. After death, we talk in terms of eternity. Mathematically it would be called infinity. Those that do not believe in Purgatory would say you spend zero time there because it doesn't exist. Those that do believe in Purgatory would say you could spend x time there, where x is greater than 0 but less than infinity. Interestingly (to a math teacher, at least) 0 divided by infinity equals 0 and x divided by infinity also equals 0. So both schools of thought ultimately mean the same thing, they just put it differently.

Wives

When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.
Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.
She brings good, and not evil, all the days of her life.

She obtains wool and flax and makes cloth with skillful hands.
Like merchant ships, she secures her provisions from afar.
She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household.

She picks out a field to purchase; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is girt about with strength, and sturdy are her arms.
She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed.

She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle.
She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy.
She fears not the snow for her household; all her charges are doubly clothed.

She makes her own coverlets; fine linen and purple are her clothing.
Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land.
She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel.
She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness.

Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her.
"Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; praise the woman who fears the Lord.
Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates.
-Proverbs 31:10-31

Although she is not one of my official followers, I understand my wife does read this daily, so hopefully that will mean some brownie points for me. This was the biblical reading from the office of the readings that I opened to today. Some of the specifics differ from those described above, but I can see the essence of everything said of the perfect wife in her. Not everyone is called to marriage, of course, but I hope that those that are give their spouse the appreciation they deserve today and everyday, and that everyone show that same level of appreciation for their parents (and in-laws) as well.

Work

If the Lord does not build the house,
in vain do its builders labor;
if the Lord does not watch over the city,
in vain does the watchman keep vigil.

In vain is your earlier rising,
your going later to rest,
you who toil for the bread you eat:
when he pours gifts on his beloved while they slumber.

The above passage from Psalm 127 illustrates part of what our opinion of work should be. Those that are unemployed appreciate that work is a gift from God and those that are employed, whether by an employer or the self-employed who work for the customer, should appreciate that the rewards are from God. Once we have determined that we are doing God's will for us, we have to give that task our best effort in serving those we serve, and then pray that God will have it bear fruit. Elsewhere the Bible suggests that it is the farmer's job to plant the seed, but God is the one that makes it grow. Some may not apply that principle to their job today, whatever it may be, like it is my job to prepare and present knowledge that encourages understanding and application and then hope God makes good its defects, so the students can really evaluate and synthesize it to meet their immediate and future needs.

The same goes for the work we do with our families. It is our job to do the best we can for our spouses and children, and have faith in God that they will do what they should. That's hard because we may want to do more and more to give ourselves the illusion that we are gaining more and more control, but ultimately it is in God's more than capable hands. It is our responsibility to play our role to the best of our ability and let God do the rest.

Love

Deep water cannot quench love, nor floods sweep it away. Were one to offer all he owns to purchase love, he would be roundly mocked. -Song of Songs 8:7

When I think of love, my wife comes to mind. Most people in a relationship probably think of their significant other first when speaking of love. A close second would be my kids, as should be the case with all who have kids. This is what the first part of this verse makes me think of. I don't like thinking about the second part of the verse, but I can see where it applies to my life by sacrificing promotion to be around the house more or my wife quitting her fulltime job to be a stay-at-home mom during the day and work part time during evenings and weekends when I can be with the kids. Some of those who take the promotions or keep their fulltime jobs disagree with those decisions with the exception of those who have to work that much to pay the bills.

If you can appreciate where I am coming from, God bless you and the Holy Spirit. This was the optional reading from today's morning prayer in honor of the virgin Clare, who was not married and did not have kids, but whose love for God was even greater to encourage us to have that same level of love for God no matter what our vocation in life. The fact that the Holy Spirit can bring such different meanings to the same words based on the differences in people reading or listening to those words just goes to illustrate God's supreme goodness. The words of scripture can even have different meanings to the same person as their situation changes and as they grow in their faith. One will never fully "get" all of scripture, so one should never stop listening to the word of God.

Consolation

From 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, "Praised be God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all consolation! He comforts us in all our afflictions and thus enables us to comfort those who are in trouble, with the same consolation we have received from him."

As is often the case, I was just writing to my friend the other day about how impressed I was with her faith and how God seems to have given her so many consolations, whereas I sometimes don't feel that I have been given those same consolations from God as others. When my faith hit bottom near the time of my marriage, whether coincidence or not, it was because I was looking for consolation directly from God and never considered the fact that he was sending his consolation to me through others, if I had only been more open to them. I am now. Those who can pass on that consolation to others will indeed be blessed, and those that keep the faith despite receiving any "direct" consolation will eventually recieve their reward too.

Practicing Faith

If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and no food for the day and you say to them, "Good-by and good luck! Keep warm and well fed," but do not meet their bodily needs, what good is that?

The example above is part of James 2:12-17, where he is illustrating what faith should look like. This is near and dear to my heart as a Franciscan because Francis encouraged people to always preach the gospel and use words if necessary. We shouldn't be the kind of Christians that only give lip service to our faith by going to church on Sunday and then feeling like there is nothing more we need to do to be saved. We will only be saved by the grace and mercy of God and we never reach a stage in this life where we do not need to do more. We should always be striving for a greater level of perfection that only comes through a greater intimacy with God.

Fortunately, there is more than one path to Heaven, in part because God has given us different gifts relative to the part of the mystical body of Christ that He wants us to play. We all have to do something with our gifts, and prayer certainly counts as doing something if you don't have the means to provide the clothes and food for a brother and sister in need - but prayer alone would not excuse you from providing for a brother and sister if you did. You don't own anything. It's all on loan from God, so we should use our talents and treasures the way Jesus would - WWJD for those of you who remember that fad from my childhood.

Mortal Sin

Here is the final question waiting to be addressed from readers. I expect a new quote from the day's readings will be presented again tomorrow.

Q. In response to purgatory, first, what is a mortal sin? I thought the bible said there is only one sin that is unforgivable and that is renouncing God. Are you saying there are more? I believe when we die, we go straight to judgement with God. Even we, as Christians, are sinning all the time and if we unexpectedly died, we are still in the Book of Life and go to see Jesus. We are either sanctified by Jesus, or we aren't. I have a hard time understanding why I, as a follower of Jesus Christ, need to rely on other sinners still on this Earth to get me to heaven. What are your personal thoughts?

A. I usually put sins into one of two categories, mortal and venial. Both of these are forgivable. However, a mortal sin is more serious for at least three reasons I can think of. First, it concerns grave matter like pushing someone off a cliff and not less serious offenses like pushing in the lunch line. Second, the person has to have known it was wrong and made a conscious decision to sin anyway like premeditated murder vs. an instinctive reaction. Third, they must have done so freely and not have been threatened with harm if they didn’t do it. So if someone does something that meets all three criteria and feels sorry for it afterwards, they ask God for forgiveness and are forgiven. If they die without regretting it, they condemn themselves. So renouncing God would be unforgivable because you have to accept God’s forgiveness that he offers everyone, but these guidelines are for us to judge ourselves and not others because so much of the criteria lies within a person, which only God can know. As for all of those venial sins of commission or omission that we are all guilty of, none of them would condemn us.

Original Sin and Mary

Based on discussions from the July 26th and 28th postings, another question has arisen that can be found below. The questions concerning Purgatory will be addressed tomorrow.

Q. What about the prospect that since Jesus was man but also God, he had to come from both a sinner (Mary) and God (the Holy Spirit)? God can still fill Mary with grace but does that then mean she's no longer a sinner? Jesus still had the same thoughts, feelings, and desires as humans since he came from one. Thoughts?

A. You bring up a good point again. Jesus was both fully human and fully God, which would mean 100% human and 100% God, which is mathematically impossible, which is why it's a mystery to our human mind and its limitations. And now my stereotypical Catholic side of being unable to accurately quote the Bible presents itself, but somewhere in the Bible I recall it saying something like Jesus was human in all things, but sin. Perhaps Jesus was human in the same way Adam and Eve were human, free from orginal sin. In His case, he would have been free from original sin because He, as the Word, existed before the original sin was committed and wasn't "made" when he was conceived as a human in Mary's womb, but simply "begotten" as God's only begotten son. He would have had the some thoughts, feelings, and desires as humans - be tempted to sin - but would not have fallen into sin since somewhere else in the Bible it refers to Jesus as He who knew no sin was made sin for us to redeem us from our sins.

As for Mary, since she was declared full of grace before she accepted Jesus into her womb, that's the argument for her having been conceived without original sin as a free gift from God to her to have someone worthy to carry His son, almost more of a gift to His son (who never knew sin even in a past tense sense through his mother) than to her really since she hadn't done anything to merit that gift. Since I believe God is the greatest good, I am always comfortable interpreting scripture as in giving God the benefit of my doubt and having Him perform the greatest good like conceiving Mary without sin, even though cleansing her from sin before Jesus was begotten in her womb may have still been good enough. Others can become full of grace after having sinned by emptying themselves to make room for God's grace.

Bible Thumping

"I am for peace, but when I speak, they are for fighting," from Psalm 120 reflects a little bit of what I am feeling when a Facebook friend's status criticizes those who are "Bible thumping," which admittedly I am not sure what that means exactly, but given the context that I also link these posts to my Facebook account, I think it means me. So it's sometimes lonely being a Christian in a world where so many have not been taught the faith or simply reject it. Fortunately, I believe God would give me the strength to persevere on my own if I had to, but I am thankful that so many brothers and sisters in Christ are open to God's calling and continue to give me my strength through their encouragement when He urges them to. My greatest supporter is my wife Nancy, of course, but my children also provide a lot of intrinsic motivation because I want to do what's best for them and make them proud.

Fountain of salvation

Yesterday, when I was thinking about life-giving water, I was thinking about when it was discussed in the gospels like John 7:37, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink."

I had forgotten that it was foretold in Isaiah 12:1-6, "With joy you will drink water at the fountain of salvation."

Individually, both of these clearly speak to the spiritual and few would confuse it with literal water. Together, they also point to the fulfillment of the old testament in the new testament and not the replacement of the old with the new. Some truths are eternal, and even though times change, the spirit of truth does not. It does take prayer to and the guidance from the Holy Spirit to see how the truth expressed in biblical times applies in today's context, but it's always applicable, never able to be dismissed. In raising children, the context that they are growing up in is different than the world we grew up and it takes prayer and silence on our part to ask and listen to how the Holy Spirit wants us to answer today's calling for our children. Likewise, the way we applied the truth as single individuals may differ from the way we express it as a married person, but it's the still the same truth that God wants expressed in all walks of life and as our path changes, our expression of His truth should as well.

Good things

"He has filled the hungry with good things," quoting Mary from Luke (1:52-53) naturally makes one thing of food since Mary used the word "hungry" first. But when I look at the words "good things" in isolation, spiritual gifts come to mind. With that understanding, if I paraphrased her statement as, "He gives good things to the hungry," it suggests that our hearts should be hungry for spiritual gifts and not just that God will provide the faithful with good food if our stomachs are growling. Then obvious connections to the gospel's life-giving water or the teaching of seek and you will find are rekindled are in our hearts and provide light to our lives and those around us. As a father, I naturally provide my children with the food they need like carrots and sometimes even the food they want like M & M's (and I don't get any endorsment money for that), but providing a living example of our faith is a much better gift - whether they realize they are hungry for it or not.

Sin is increasing

I realize that the good old days weren't entirely good, though it certainly seems like our culture is worse now than it used to be in some ways in terms of fidelity, even though there was infidelity in the past. But perhaps it is better in other ways in terms of racism, even though racism still exists too. If you feel like sin has increased in the world, no matter how you may define that, you can take solace from from Paul who tells the Romans, "Sin has increased but grace has far surpassed it" (5:20). God's grace is always capable of overcoming evil for those open to God's grace and I suspect that anyone who is coming back to this simple blog periodically is the kind of person that is open to God's grace and will be instrumental in overcoming evil in their world.

Comments

I really enjoyed posting replies to comments posted privately concerning July 26 and 28 because I was actually turned off by the Catholic Church in high school too. My parish was so uncharismatic, and my friends' Presbyterian and Lutheran groups were just much more excited about their faith. So I started researching why some of the different churches believed different things and found that I agreed with more of the Catholic teachings than the others. Fortunately, in college, I found a group of Catholics excited about their faith too, so my original problem was really based on Catholics and not Catholicism. I still have problems with some Catholics because they call themselves Catholics, but but don't believe some of what Catholic Church believes. I think people should decide what they believe is true and then join a church that believes that and not join a church to be told what to believe.

Sowing

It was during my time at Youngstown State University studying administration that was a turning point in my faith journey. We were discussing how you can judge a person's priorities by how they spend their time as well as how they spend their money. I was conscious of giving what I felt was the right amount of money to the Church and various charities back then, but I had never thought about how I spent my time or how that may have spoken to my priorities. I was spending all my time with work related things, whether it be actual work or school work related to actual work. It was at that point that I decided to spend more time serving God, who I had always said was the most important thing in my life, but perhaps wasn't acting like it.

Nevertheless, I felt it was only responsible to complete my master's program before making this change. I came across the Secular Franciscans during my search and realized that was what I was looking for and didn't know it. During that time, I also realized how I could have been serving God while at work and at school. So even though I was doing the right thing by going to school, I was doing it for the wrong motives. I believe it was Mother Teresa who said it isn't what you do, but with how much love you do it. That relates to today's quote from Paul to the Galatians (6:7b-8): A man will reap only what he sows. If he sows in the field of the flesh, he will reap a harvest of corruption; but if his seed-ground is the spirit, he will reap everlasting life.

"Needs"

Paul tells the Phillipians (3:17-4:9) to "present your needs to God in every form of prayer and in petitions full of gratitude." However, I feel wants are sometimes confused with needs, so how does one really know what to pray for? Since it is the Holy Spirit that helps us pray, if our "needs" would fall under the category of one or more of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, it would be safe to say we are praying for our needs because we always need the gifts of the Holy Spirit and they will always be given to us: wisdom, understanding, knowledge, courage, counsel, piety, and fear.

Strength of faith

Faith is a gift, just like persistence is a gift, some people have more than others and in different degrees, so just because someone has a hard time doing something or not doing something, it's not our place to judge them as if the had the same gifts in the same amount as ourselves. Paul writes to the Romans and says,

"We who are strong in faith should be patient with the scruples of those whose faith is weak; we must not be selfish. Each should please his neighbor so as to do him good by building up his spirit."

Like I tell my girls, it's their job to be their sister's sister and let mom and dad correct them. So we should let God judge and build up our brothers and sisters in whatever ways they need.

Desire

"It is God, who in his good will toward you, begets in you any measure of desire"
-Phillipians 2:12-30

To those that have a strong work ethic, it is easy to blame others for certain failures due to laziness, as if work ethic is something a person has complete control over. I have heard of studies that suggest that what we consider work ethic is somewhat genetic. This quote would suggest that too. It may help us be more sympathetic towards those that don't seem to be able to work as hard as us. On the other hand, the gospel also teaches us to seek and we will find, so even those without persistence can make the decision to seek persistence from God in faith and it will be granted. Even some that don't believe in God, believe in the power of positive thinking: believing that you can do it and doing it. God is very generous in that way.

Tobit

As much as I appreciate the metaphors that fill the pages of scripture and the purpose they serve, I am more fond of the literal texts, even if those texts are only accepted by Catholics as divinely inspired. I believe the King James Bible that Protestants are familiar with was written entirely in Hebrew initially, where some other texts were found to be written in Greek. After prayer and deliberation on both sides, certain Hebrew texts were accepted by Catholics and Protestants to constitute the Bible as Protestants know it. None of the Greek texts were accepted by the Protestants. Those that were accepted by Catholics were included along side the same Hebrew texts as equally divinely inspired. This is the Bible that Catholics are familiar with. Tobit is one of those books and one of my favorites because it addresses issues common to every life. Tobit 4:15a, 16a, 18a, 19: "Do to no one what you yourself dislike. Give to the hungry some of your bread, and to the naked some of your clothing. Seek counsel from every wise man. At all times bless the Lord God, and ask him to make all your paths straight and to grant success to all your endeavors and plans."

Refining Silver

It seems like scripture often uses comparisons that were more relevant to the people of long ago than to most people today. One such example is refining silver. "The words of the Lord are words without alloy, silver from the furnace, seven times refined." - Psalm 12. Not knowing much about refining silver, it made an impression on me the one time I heard a silversmith explain the process, especially since I was trying to understand how it related to the Biblical references. He explained that silver has to be put into a furnace to melt away all the impurities.

Someone asked, "How do you know when it's done?"

He answered, "When you can see yourself clearly in it."

Sometimes God's words feel like we are being put into the furnace, but if we fully accept them over and over again, we will be a clear reflection of Him to the world.

God's Guests

From Psalm 5: 2-10, 12-13: “You are no God who loves evil; no sinner is your guest.” Knowing that we are all sinners, my first reaction to this line was to wonder how anyone besides Jesus and Mary could be God’s guest (make it to Heaven). Then I considered the possibility that they were referring to church, where Catholics, for example, are not to receive Communion with a mortal sin still on their soul. A sinner needs God’s forgiveness to be made clean from the stain of sin. That, of course, lead me back to my first thought that sinners, those with the stain of sin still on their soul, do not get into Heaven. If one has not been forgiven and made amends for their evil deeds or omissions, one has to do so on Earth through Reconciliation of some sort or in Purgatory in the next life. In other words, one cannot be a guest of God until one is free of sin. Everyone open to God’s grace is then capable of eventually escaping sin.

Sleep

Even though I am off of work for the summer, it seems like I have even less time to pray the liturgy of the hours than during the school year with a Nancy, 5-year-old Claire, 3-year-old Sarah, and 1-week old Emily bouncing off each other inside the house. So even though it may not always be said in the formal way that the book presents, I still take the time every 4 hours or so to offer some sort of prayer even if I can't get to one of the Christian Prayer books. Nevertheless, one of the psalms from this morning, Psalm 63:2-9 read: "On my bed I remember you. On you I muse through the night for you have been my help; in the shadows of your wings I rejoice." Indeed, night time, or even nap time, is a blessed time in my house.

Patience

From 2 Peter 3:13-15a, "Consider that our Lord's patience is directed toward salvation." I never thought of directing my patience. I know patience is a virtue and I am a relatively patient individual, however, patience may not be the end I should focus on. My kids try my patience often, and I don't feel that I lose my patience with them (because they are so much better than some of the kids I work with at school), but perhaps my patience should be more focused on helping my kids in those moments rather than just not blowing up at them. Just because something may not be sinful doesn't necessarily make it virtuous by default.

Parenting Decisions

I thought I knew what kind of parent I wanted to be, in terms of what I would do, but that was based on what I did as a kid or what I saw other kids doing, so the problem is that my kids present me with situations that I have never seen before, which means I sometimes have to decide what to do on the spot. If possible, I delay the decision until I have time to think it over. Then even after having time to relect on what to do or reflecting on what I did, the answer isn't always clear. There are certainly worse ways to have handled it, but that doesn't mean that I handled it the best way possible. How do you know when you have the best possible answer in such unique situations like that? As smart as I think I am sometimes, it's amazing how often I rely on thinking and not enough on prayer, which I know has to go hand in hand with thinking and is often more useful than thinking alone because prayer allows you to pick God's brain and let Him do the thinking. If it's an important decision, a decision that I have my attention focused upon entirely, my subconscious will usually provide with what I am confident God wants me to do, but that answer doesn't always come quickly, or quickly enough before I am distracted, despite my original intentions. Psalm 51 includes the line: "Indeed you love truth in the heart; then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom." It's hard to let what my heart is telling me overrule what my head is saying because I always want to have the reason why this is the right decision and know how it's going to turn out, but I am getting better at giving up control and following my heart, what God wants me to do, instead of doing what my head may be telling me.

God the Mother

Although God the Father is understandably the image now emphasized in scripture since Jesus gave the Our Father, the Bible also provides motherly images of God to more fully describe God, whom words can never fully describe. Isaiah 66:10-14a includes: "As a mother comforts her son, so will I comfort you." This image stood out to me from seeing my wife comforting our newborn baby daughter these last six days since she's been born.

Peace.

Images of God

I personally like the image of our relationship with God as a spouse. Today Isaiah 61:10-62:5 includes: As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you." However, I have known people abused by their fathers or other men, who have had trouble with the masculine image of God the Father because they never had a good understanding of how fathers are supposed to treat their children. Likewise, not every one marries young, not every bride is a virgin, so this image may be difficult for some to appreciate. Fortunately, God's love is so great and all encompassing that those searching for Him will find in through the many images of Him provided in scripture (and perhaps come to a better understanding of how those other figures are expected to act).

Peace.

Confidence

My wife and children are relying on me more than usual after our third daughter Emily was born Friday during a C-Section. I sometimes feel like I can do it all, but need to remember that it is really God that brings about any good from what I do. Today, a passage from Proverbs 9:1-18 stood out to me: "If you are wise, it is to your own advantage; and if you are arrogant, you alone shall bear it."

So how is wisdom defined? "Wisdom is fear of the Lord." Just like a healthy amount of confidence is good, a healthy fear of the Lord is good. I have heard this before, but need to be reminded of it often.

Peace.